How to Get Over Limerence

How to Get Over Limerence

Limerence is a term coined by Dr. Dorothy Tennov in her 1979 book entitled Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. In her words, “Limerence is an involuntary interpersonal state that involves an acute longing for emotional reciprocation, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and emotional dependence on another person.”

Though you might not know the term, you would undoubtedly recognize limerence when you saw it. There are examples of limerence from tales of all ages. Think Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, or more contemporarily, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen.

When unrequited, limerence can be agonizing. Since my first instagram post on the subject, I’ve received dozens of messages with heartbreaking tales of the pain of unrequited limerence and questions about how to move beyond it.

There are many articles about practical steps to take to help overcome limerence, like:

• Remove all contact.
• Create physical, emotional, and social distance.
• Occupy yourself with new ideas, hobbies, experiences, and even people.

Instead, this post is specifically about the mentality required to move on.